Monday, February 9, 2009

How I Busted My Nose Open at the Grocery Store- Or, Why Being a Doctor Doesn't Necessarily Mean that You're Smart

My husband, Mansoor, and I were discussing a few weeks ago how sad it was that we essentially gave up entertaining after the birth of our first child (nearly 4 years ago!). We determined that in order to convince our friends that we're not horrible mooches, we really should invite people over more often.

That was the conversation that begat the onslaught of weekly dinner parties stretching from February 7th to March 7th.

So while Mansoor distracted son #1 at the zoo, I took the baby with me to the grocery store to pick up some supplies. This was my first mistake (I make quite a few in this story- we'll keep count, just for kicks).

Baby's snoozing- so not wanting to wake him, I elect not to remove him from the carseat. Rather, mommygenius decides to maneuver the entire gigantic plastic bucket baby holder into the grocery cart. Carseat + baby = 23 lbs. (mistake #2)

OK- let's get these foodstuffs quickly, before baby wakes up! Oops... grocery cart already full of baby and his bulky crash protection- guess the food will have to go on the tiny little shelf under the cart. (mistake #3)

Oh no- baby's awake (and hungry, to boot)! Until this moment, I never realized that there are no places to sit inside a grocery store... no "give your feet a rest" benches, no "take a load off" chairs, and definitely no "nurse your screaming infant here" seats. That's OK, we made it to the checkout line- only a few minutes and we'll be on our way. Quickly, quickly... get those groceries onto the conveyor. (mistake #4)

Bend down, grab the chicken, lift head- SMACK! between the eyes on the cart handlebar! THUD! onto still conveniently padded derriere! Room spinning, head pounding, baby still screaming, little old lady behind me saying "Sweetheart, you're bleeding...", you've got to be kidding, and I still have to make enchiladas suizas tonight!

Still a little woozy, and more than a little confused- I managed to make it back to the car (did have to ask for help pushing that second cartful of groceries- baby filled up the first one, remember?). On the way back, the bagboy actually asked if I was going to sue them! :)

Once I stopped the bleeding and regained my composure and bearings, we made it safely back home so I could feed my wailing little angel. I finally get him out of the car, and wouldn't you know it- fast asleep.

Next time, I'm using Peapod.

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